the grand illusion [ashton]

[ASHTON COLE JOHNSON-WALKER]

<sup>Ashton nodded. mm.. good. he said. it probably was the safest answer to go with. Ashton would have probably argued it for a while if he needed to. Maybe... he might have just said fine whatever as well. Ashton could go either way.

Ashton liked that peter wasnt pulling away. Normally he would be like, yeah well of course he wouldnt hes a whore, but ashton knew this wasnt the case. Just by living with him for as long as he had, regardless of how often they werent around each other for that, and the conversations theyve had he knew peter wasnt like that. he kid was like a genuine... niave but... not in a sense it was... it was just.. it was different. In fact between the two of them, ashton was pretty sure he was dirtyiing him up. Of all people for Peter to get involved with whatever the reason, he was probably by far one of those that he shouldnt.

Ashton should know better, but right now that didnt matter to him. Sure the thought was there, but his need to do things like this over rode that. He liked to see how far a person could go, would even take advantage of a situation depending on what it was. right now he thought he kind of was. Peter didnt seem the type that did this on a daily basis, but Ashton had used something he knew peter might agree with to get in this position.

He felt peters hand go up his chest and into his hair again. It seemed peter liked doing this, and if they werent in this position ashton probably would have told him not to do that. He didnt like people touching his hair. Lucky for peter though, he didnt mind. Besides... it kind of felt good right now. He felt him deepen the kiss even more and ashton returned it. He thought they were doing pretty good. If this was how peter kissed ashton didnt understand why his ex had such an issue. really he seemed to be able to naturally transition to things and it felt nice. Maybe the guy was just used to the more extremely experienced kisser. If that were the case then he should have known better when he was getting involved with people. Some people were just ignorant fucking bastards.

Ashton moved away from peters lips pulling on the bottom one as he did this, his tongue flicking over its fullness once he let go of it. He nipped his way along his jaw and to his neck his tongue following it down giving a bite to the juncture where his neck and shoulder met before moving futher down towards his neck, his mouth working at his collar bone.</sup>

[PETER BERGAN WALKER]

» SO IF YOU THINK YOUR LIFE IS COMPLETE CONFUSION
because you never win the game
REMEMBER THAT IT'S A GRAND ILLUSION DEEP INSIDE WE'RE ALL THE SAME

<sup>Peter thought that was the best answer that he could come up with. It was neither yes or no and he thought it might give Ashton the satisfaction of knowing that Peter had at least heard his point. Not that Peter didn't care about it. He just didn't want there to be any unnecessary arguments. Peter wanted to try his best to get along with Ashton. For some odd reason it was important to Peter that things go well with Ashton.

Something inside Peter told him that it wasn't a good idea to be kissing Ashton the way he was. There were a million ways that it could go wrong. Peter couldn't imagine himself ever falling in love again not that he felt like he would FALL IN LOVE with Ashton. Peter was just worried that what could go wrong would. He wasn't sure if it would be frowned upon for him to make out with his roommate. Peter knew that some people might wonder about it but he also knew that it didn't matter about what other people thought. Peter's mind just couldn't decide which way it wanted to go. A part of him loved what Ashton was doing and another part knew there would be serious consequences to letting it happen. Peter just found it extremely difficult to react to the latter part of him.

Peter didn't know how much further he could go. There would be a point where Peter would be completely useless to Ashton. Already there were a ton of questions that he wanted to ask. Peter couldn't believe the thing Ashton had done when he pulled away from his lips. It was insane how good that felt. No one had ever done that to him before. Peter could feel Ashton's lips move against his skin and down his neck. As Ashton worked on his collar bone Peter couldn't stop the soft guttural sound that had escaped his lips. This was so new to him. Peter was kind of scared that he was reacting wrong. He couldn't help how his body reacted, but he didn't want it to hold Ashton back.

Ashton... Peter said, his voice low. I don't... I... mmm.. He was beginning to protest but it died away. There came a point in just about everyone where physical satisfaction overruled common sense. What was this? Why was it happening? There were so many questions floating around in Peter's head. He knew that Ashton had agreed to teach him about intimacy... but where exactly was the line drawn?

tagged • ashton johnson!
words • 440
lyrics • grand illusion by styx
notes • :]
credits • template by me</sup>

[ASHTON COLE JOHNSON-WALKER]

<sup>Ashton moved his lips over peters collar bone still and then to the dip of where the top of it was at the end of his throat. he licked his way up the column of his throat stopping at his adams apple, sucking at the spot there. one hand moved down to peters ass stroking it through his jeans and then giving his firm squeeze. really... nice... he said against his throat. He finally continued up, his hand moving around his hip and between them. He licked at peters bottom lip as he started to stroke the front of peters jeans lightly, but enoguh for him to feel it. it was a teasing stroke. He wasnt expecting peter to let him do that. To distract him though he took his lips again, adding just a little more pressure.

He would pull away if peter wanted. He wasnt taking this to sex, but that didnt mean he didnt want to do something to see his reaction. He was liking how peter had been reacting to his touching and his lips. He liked how he felt and tasted, his skin all of it. He knew this was all just his head right now and that he wouldnt feel this way in the morning. how could he this was his room mate and ashton wasnt like that.

Ashtons tongue tasted and touched all that it could inside peters mouth. Engaging his tongue in battles of domination and playfulness. Honestly he wouldnt mind if they did end up sleeping together. not now of course, but maybe later.. when peter was more.. physically comfortable with him. He couldnt imagine him being too comfortable now. For one peter didnt really know him all that much and for two... added to the first and the fact they were making out. He thought peter was doing a pretty damn good job though.

Ashton thought it was funny how things turned out. How what peters thing with his ex had him now in this spot with ashton, 'learning' about intimacy. The other funny part was that he was learning intimacy from him. HIM. One of the most unintimate person ever. He had no idea why hed offered to help him out, but oh well. If peter wasnt good at it he wouldnt be able to tell that ashton was more cold then hot He thought... he didnt know. He supposed he wasnt so cold right now.. after all they were still making out. He blamed it on the drugs. had to be... peter wouldnt normally be allowing this if he were sober.

Ashton pulled at his bottom lip again. Yeah... no way hed be doing this with him sober.</sup>

[PETER BERGAN WALKER]

» SO IF YOU THINK YOUR LIFE IS COMPLETE CONFUSION
because you never win the game
REMEMBER THAT IT'S A GRAND ILLUSION DEEP INSIDE WE'RE ALL THE SAME

<sup>The thing about this situation was that Peter didn’t know if he was acting of his own will or he was acting because his body naturally reacted to the way Ashton touched him. Was he attracted to Ashton? Peter couldn’t think straight enough to really know for sure. He didn’t want to just jump into the unknown the way he was, but he couldn’t help it. Peter couldn’t help but melt into Ashton’s arms as he worked his neck. When Ashton began to focus more on his Adam’s apple his breath caught as a soft moan escaped him.

This was really more than Peter had ever experienced. He wasn’t really all that sure about physical situations, but this was just... wow. Peter wasn’t expecting Ashton to attempt to take it any farther. When Peter felt Ashton’s hand brush across the front of his jeans his body tensed. Ashton... no... He said. It couldn’t have sounded all that convincing since his voice was still soft and breathy because of what Ashton was still doing to his throat. Before Peter could really argue any further Ashton had his lips again in a slightly harder kiss than he had given before.

Peter was absolutely sure that this was probably only really a onetime thing. He didn’t expect for Ashton to keep his word about teaching him about intimacy. It wouldn’t make sense really. Peter was close to thinking this was just some sort of fantasy that he was having and he was just going to wake up from his slumber with sticky sheets or something. Peter had barely thought about the consequences that might come from getting this involved with his roommate, even if this happened to be some... really incredibly sexy dream. Although, Peter would have to be mad at his self if this were really a dream. He’d have to be mad because this has to be the worst way to be teased. It would be like his dreams were leading him on, making him think that he was feeling all of these new things, and pulling him further than he had ever gone before... only to say, “nope, sorry. Didn’t really happen...” That seemed way too cruel to Peter. How could his dreams do that to him?

As Ashton continued to kiss him Peter’s mind still raced. How could it not? A million things crossed his mind and all at the same time. Peter had a million questions about intimacy that he wanted to ask. Peter briefly pulled away from Ashton’s kiss, though his lips were still close enough to still be touching. Is... Intimacy always like this? Peter asked. Peter’s mind worked on a level of extreme naivety. Ashton could lie to Peter through his teeth and at the moment Peter would believe anything he said. He would more than likely believe anything Ashton told him despite the situation. Peter’s ability to trust people way too much would probably come back to bite him in the ass, but he couldn’t exactly think like that 24/7. That just wasn’t a healthy way to go about thinking during the day. Peter didn’t waste much time going back to Ashton’s lips even before he could get an actual answer. That was fine with Peter. He did want to know the answer, but he was also caught up in what he was doing more so than he probably should have been.

As Ashton pulled at his lower lip Peter closed his eyes. When Ashton let it go yet another question escaped from between his lips. Is, um, I mean.... Are we going to do this often? Peter asked as he leaned his head back against the tree he was pushed up against. There was no other way to ask that question that would have made it any easier. Sadly, those were only two of the thousands of questions that were going through his mind at light speed. Peter knew that he wouldn’t be able to ask all of them for sure. Ashton didn’t really seem to like talkers, though. He knew that he needed to be careful about his questions and when he asked them.

tagged • ashton johnson!
words • 718
lyrics • grand illusion by styx
notes • :]
credits • template by me</sup>

[ASHTON COLE JOHNSON-WALKER]

<sup>Ashton knew peter probably would feel uncomfortable with the extra touching. He just figured maybe peter just needed to feel it first and realize he liked it. He heard the small protest but there wasn’t much behind it and when he kissed him again, peter just kissed him back. When he didn’t push him away then ashton started to stroke him with a little more pressure, using his palm a bit as well. He wanted peter to feel good, wanted him to know what all he could offer even if he wasn’t going to actually give it to him. Was it kind of a horrible thought to want peter to want this, to yearn for it, to drive him crazy with thoughts about him? Probably, but Ashton kind of liked the thought of someone thinking that way about him. To feel like he was untouchable but unable to help the want and need they felt for him. Ashton was untouchable. He might… sometime give in to peter. He had a feeling he was going to remember this night. He had been drinking, but he wasn’t completely drunk and this would come back to bite him in the ass for sure. He could pretend he didn’t remember. Oh well he’d figure something out. Right now he just wanted to put some thoughts to remember in Peters head.

Then again. Ashton wouldn’t mind doing this several times over. Maybe it wouldn’t be because he was untouchable. Just that… he didn’t know. He was debating if he should do this again. He doubt hed do this sober, but… lately it seemed he was sober less and less, so why not? At least hed always have that as an excuse, and it would give him somewhere to go, something to do. He didn’t like being controlled, but he liked being bothered even more. Derek seemed to think he had him under his finger, but that wasn’t the case really. He just knew Derek would stop until he got his way and Ashton wanted to be bothered as little as possible. So for as much as Derek pulled him out, got him fucked up, he wouldn’t have to stay where he was. He was good about slipping out past Derek. Derek was one of those people that if the attention was on him he was there and people liked to give him attention. People found him charming and hot and hell he was a lead singer, so that just gave whatever points he didn’t have to him. It was easy for him to get distracted from trying to get Ashton to do what ever he wanted. Instead of finding himself in some random place, or in the courtyard he could just make his way back to the room and engage in some extracurricular things with Peter. He doubted peter would say no. Not with the little ‘thing’ they had going on with teaching him how to be intimate, or with the way peter was responding to him.

Ashton had to grunt a bit when peter pulled away just a bit, though he kept their lips touching as he asked him if intimacy was always like this. It was … interesting. He liked how when he talked their lips brushed, like it was kind of a tease and ashton wasn’t sure if he wanted to pull him to him to get those lush lips on his again or to continue talking because it felt good. It was such a weird feeling, but he brushed it away as he remembered peter had asked him a question. Was intimacy like this? He didn’t know really. Though he knew he could totally bull shit an answer. It wasn’t hard considering the things hes read or heard or listened to. He was surprised Peter had to ask with as much stuff floated around ready to be taken and used about as you needed. Then again this was peter and peter always seemed to surprise him with stuff like this. With his naivety because at the same time there was something in his eyes that just told him he knew far more then someone like him should and it wasn’t a good kind. Part of ashton wanted to know what it was that was in those eyes that made him seem that way. He wanted to know what peter wasn’t naïve about. He wanted to know his experiences in the past. He wanted to remove whatever it was from peter and preserve him. He wasn’t sure what this need was. Why he felt this way? Why he even cared about what could have been in peters life that made him like that. He mentally shook his head. He needed to stop thinking. Damn the alcohol.

Ashton was about to answer but it seemed peter didn’t really want an answer, because he was kissing him again not giving him a chance to answer. He was fine with that. If peter didn’t want an answer then really he was definitely okay with that. Plus they were kissing again and it just seemed to get better and better each time their lips touched.

Once he pulled away, he heard peter sigh and rest his head back against the tree. His question playing in Ashtons mind. Hadnt be been thinking about this earlier. He looked at peter. His flushed face, his full lips, his dark lidded eyes. He licked his lips still tasting peter on them. It was the eyes. He had never seen eyes like his before. Swallowing a bit he thought about not seeing his eyes like this again. Not seeing those full lips of his even more swollen and red from their kissing. Not being able to hear his breath hitched or heavy like it was now from needing air. He realized he was still touching him. He had stopped palming him sometime during that last kiss. He pressed against him again, feeling him beneath his hand. It gave him an weird little excitement knowing hed done all of this to peter. He knew he had to be hard as well. That knowledge alone and… and those eyes, had ashton leaning back in again, nipping lightly along his jaw and nodded. I think that can be arranged…. If that’s what youd like. he said his voice kind of quiet as he worked on what he was doing. He flicked his tongue over his ear lobe, pulling away some, not much considering the restrictions of the sweater, but he moved his hands to rest both on peters hips now. What could this hurt, right?

And what of right now? he asked, watching him. what do you want to do now?</sup>