LOVE.PERSONIFIED [ASHTON]

[PETER BERGAN WALKER]

Peter was honestly more excited than he had ever been in his entire life. He was absolutely convinced that he had managed to solve a mystery that the rest of the world seemed so absolutely sure of. It had always amazed Peter how easy it was for people to say they loved people or things. He didn't understand how it was that easy. Love was supposed to be some magical thing that only happened truly in fairy tales. His main concern was that he didn't know what love was. Peter didn't know what love would REALLY be like once he found it. These were all things that he thought about when people started talking about love. Now, though, Peter thought he knew the answer. It had taken a while and Peter still wasn't a hundred percent positive that he was correct, but it was worth a shot.

After closing his laptop Peter leaned back in his desk chair with a smile. It had been a few weeks since he, Ashton, and Carson had made their arrangement. There were some highs and lows, but for the most part Peter thought it was working. Sometimes it was difficult for him to share his boyfriend, but he knew that he had to. Peter stood, turning toward his bed where his dogs were curled up sleeping. He smiled, shaking his head softly as he grabbed his jacket and pulled it on over his white Pink Floyd shirt. Peter bent down, tightening the strings on his black Converse All Stars. He headed toward the door, turning back to blow a kiss to his two very amazing dogs. They weren't awake to see it, but he figured that it was the thought that counted and either way he knew that they were his favorite. He picked up Eleanor as he walked out the door and shut it behind him.

As Peter walked he thought about what he was going to say. Love personified. That was what he was going to see. Peter understood now that Love wasn't a feeling. It wasn't just in fairy tales. Love wasn't any of that spiritual crap that people talked about to make them feel better. In fact, Peter was sure that Love had nothing to do with that nervous feeling he got in his stomach directly. The way Peter saw it was that people transform into Love. Peter had said once that when he looked at Ashton he saw a song. He saw a beautiful song that could only be thought of as a beautiful melody of day meeting the night. After talking to Mikey Peter realized that how he looked at Ashton had changed. Well, more so what he saw. Peter no longer saw a song. The song was still a part of it, but it wasn't what Peter say. No, he was convinced that when he looked at Ashton he saw Love and he had to have it.

Peter stopped just outside of the dorms, waiting for Ashton. He leaned against the building. There was no way that Peter could get rid the the ridiculous smile that had taken control of his expression. Lately Peter had found it difficult to smile. It was hard to smile knowing that he had brain damage. The brain damage made things way difficult, but it was something that he thought he could get used to given the opportunity. Besides, it was supposed to be temporary according to the doctors. Peter glanced down to the grass and drew in a deep breath. It had been a long time since he had taken the time to just sit back and relax. Too many things had been going on and he had been a lot more stressed than he should have been... than any normal person should have been.

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[ASHTON COLE JOHNSON-WALKER]

<sup>Ashton closed his phone. He really hated technology, but it definitely came in handy when he wanted. He had been glad to catch peter in the chat, most of the time kennedy is on and then he has to wait for her to leave or he wont catch him till later and he doesnt have that much time to talk to him. Ashton was in an alright mood this morning, he was just trying to not think about the recent additions that joined the ranks in the relationship. He honestly wasnt sure what to think. He knew that technically it wasnt about what he thought or if he could or couldnt handle it. She wasnt his kid, she was carsons and carson was the one that had to deal with the most of it. If ashton was going to have a problem... then carson could just easily say then that ashton didnt have to deal with it and that it would be over for them.

Ashton didnt want that. He was still very much unable to give one up. She was a kid anyway... what could she hurt. He wasnt good with kids, but if he just kept his distance.. he could give them their 'time' together, be around mostly at times when she was sleeping or something else. hed smoked a few times

today when talking to peter, he found his mood lightening as he and peter joked around. Peter mentioned he had something to tell him and a song to show him. When he asked, peter said he wouldnt tell and as he continued to try and get something out he still refused and ashton accused him of being a tease. Well he was. A horrid horrid tease... but he wsnt complaining at least not in a serious way. He liked their playful back and forths... He felt the same way the time he and carson got playful. They rarely did talk playful like that and Ashton wondered if it was because he always came off serious to them. He thought back about how it seemed peter hesitated to say things sometimes n response to him in case he said it wrong or what not and set ashton off. He didnt like thinking like that.

Mentally pushing it away he shook his head. He wasnt going to think of anything that was going to mess this up. Peter was in a good mood and he seemed excited about this and he wasnt going to take that away. Peter didnt seem to excited by much these days and he knew a lot of it was because of what was going on with his head. He knew that weighed heavily on him. He wished it didnt, wished he could help him, take it away somehow, but there was no way. The doctors said it would be temporary but their definition of temporary took too damn long.

Ashton wore his white t-shirt today with the black vest over it, hung unbuttoned. Ashton didnt have a mega amount of clothes. He had enough to get by for a week. Ashton didnt like owning too many items. Most of his stuff if he felt like leaving one day could be packed up fairly easily in a couple of sacks. Those sacks sat in his closet and if it werent for the fact that he had worn the clothes and that he hated wrinkle he wouldnt have hung his clothes up.

Ashton slipped his phone into the pocket of his jeans. not much else could fit in them they were rather snug. He then placed his fingers into his pockets wishing he had brought his jacket but hadnt. Sometimes he could be an idiot and forget even shit like that, though its always top priority to point it out when he notices peter without one or something.

Ashton made his way towards the front of the dorms where he would be meeting peter. AS he neared he saw peters figure leaning against the building. Ashton could see the smile on his face, he really liked peters smile and he liked seeing it more often then was shown. He really wanted to know what these 'surprises' were because anything that could make peter smile like that... well... he wanted to know.

He smirked as he got closer. mm.. well well well look who we have here.. his brows rose with a look, he didnt slow his pace down as he pretty much went till he was crowded into peters space not wanting peter to get a chance to move from much from the wall, fingers automatically resting on his hips. whats a pretty thing like you doing out here by yourself... ? he quirked a brow again. someone could take advantage of that..he smirked leaning in to run his tongue over his lower lip. someone like me... he tugged at it with his teeth. what are you going to do about that? he asked bringing hs eyes from his lips to his eyes, his thumbs moving in a circular motion where they rested.</sup>

[PETER BERGAN WALKER]

Peter looked down to Eleanor and shook his head slowly. He rested her on his show and smoothed his thumbs over her strings, allowing her to rest against his body. Eleanor was one of the more important things in Peter's life. He couldn't live without her he was sure. If Eleanor did somehow leave his life, then he knew it would be difficult. Peter didn't like thinking about it, but sometimes he was forced to. Thinking about something so intense could be a stressful wear on Peter. It often took a toll on him. Peter shook his head and tried to shove those thoughts away. It would never come to that. Peter convinced himself that he would never lose Eleanor, Bogart, Hobo, or Ashton. Recently Peter had discovered that he had a niece who he didn't really want to think about giving up either. There was so much stuff in his life that he just didn't want to lose.

Ashton's voice brought him out of his thoughtful trance. Peter looked up with a smile. He loved Ashton's voice. The sound of Ashton's deep voice just made him feel so much better about everything. Peter could think of a couple of nights where he had been so down and out and the moment he heard Asthon's voice his feelings would lift. There were also times when Peter would wake up hearing Ashton's voice. He didn't want to give those things up. Peter fixed his eyes on Ashton, taking in the appearance of his boyfriend. He was always glad to see Ashton. Peter knew that there were times when he just couldn't appear glad to see him, but most of the time Peter wanted to see Ashton. If it were up to him, then he would be able to see Ashton every day for the rest of his life.

Peter felt an electric feeling run up his spine as Ashton ran his tongue over his lip, pulling it with his teeth. It was always so enjoyable when Ashton did that. Peter smiled, leaning into Ashton. He could feel Ashton's thumbs circling on his waist and he just knew by what he felt that he was going to be doing the right thing this evening. Peter leaned in, kissing Ashton gently on the lips. Maybe I wanted you to be the one to take advantage of me. He laughed before kissing Ashton again. But my big bad boyfriend is here... no one else would dare take advantage. Peter liked it when he and Ashton could just be playful and joke around. He realized that sometimes they were all serious and no play, but sometimes that was necessary.

After letting his hands rest on Ashton's hips Peter leaned his head back against the wall of the building. I'm so excited, Ashton, just way too excited. Peter felt like he was running over with excitement. He was trying to hold back a little bit just so that he didn't end up freaking Ashton out. Peter massaged the area on Ashton's hips where his hands rested. Are you excited? Even a little? Curious? I almost can't wait. Peter bit his own lower lip for a moment before he gave in, leaning in and giving Ashton another kiss. Maybe kissing Ashton three times withing a minute was a lot, but Peter couldn't help it. He wanted to kiss Ashton... he liked kissing Ashton.

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[ASHTON COLE JOHNSON-WALKER]

<sup>Ashton still wasnt used to the feeling he got when ever he touched him, or was touched by him. He had always heard things, but thought it was stupid and ridiculous. He had figured that it had never happened with Andy.. so then it must not be true. They were just things for you to make you think certain ways about things. But now... now he felt it. Felt that electric charge. The way his skin always responded, the way his stomach clenched at times and not in a bad way. that nervous giddyness he got at times as well. There were so many things that happened to him and all of them came from a touch, sometimes just what was being said, and of course the voice. He had never thought he could be affected by a voice... well.. at least in the good way. There were times when just sounds could get him. It was still something he was getting used to, trying to figure out, trying to ... analyze and put to words but he seemed to be failing at that. he didnt think there was a way.

Ashton really likes the way peters skin felt under his touch. He liked the way he tasted too and he loved doing things to him and seeing his response. He really did like how responsive he was and the sounds he made and the way his body reacted... all of it. all of him. it was just...

It was funny how people said they could only have one soul mate. Ashton had certain views about things, but he thought that was a fucked up idea. What if you never ran into your soul mate. What was the point. Or what if you fell for someone then later on ran into your soul mate. Life was a bitch but would it really be that shitty. It didnt matter to him. Soul mates, or... destiny, or fate... all of it.. it didnt matter. Ashton had never even planned for this to happen. To meet someone and now he didnt just meet one.. but two. He knew that both peter and carson fit the bill for all of that for him. And even if they werent in the big picture, it didnt matter because that was what he wanted. They were the only ones that had ever made him want to actually try. Made it worth anything. they were the only ones that gave him any kind of feelings without being completely shit faced or making him want to be completely shit faced in order to be with them.

He honestly didnt know how to define that kind of thing. He knew people looked down on it and others seemed to view it as something else, but ashton he didnt know what to classify it as. It wasnt as if he was just being greedy or was looking for tstuff like this. It wasnt even about it being the twin thing. They didnt even all sleep together like that. IT wasnt about that. it was something else. something much .. more, as cheesy as that was. It just wasnt like... a lot of things and he knew that everyone had their ideas about it, but... he doubted any of them could come close to what it really was to him.

Ashton smirked, one side of his lips curving into it as peter kissed him not once but twice and even laugh. hm.. well then.. you're going to get your wish.he said He snorted and leaned into him brushing his lips against his just barely as he talked. mm.. big bad boyfriend eh?he put a little more pressure before letting up again, thier lips brushing yet again as he continued. ill hurt anyone that touches you.. he murmured capturing his bottom lip again and sucking a bit before letting go.

Ashton did like being playful. He had realized that he and carson had more playful moments then he and peter did, which he thought was kind of funny considering peter was the more playful one and carson was the more serious, and yet... when he was with peter he was constantly making them serious. He felt like maybe he was sapping peters fun energy out... he didnt like that thought. He couldnt help but think that though.

That thought alone had his lips turning down before he realized he was frowning and then he straightened his lips again hiding his head into the crook of his neck as he kissed the skin there. He didnt want to ruin this.

He lifted his head up as he felt peters hands on his hips and he smirked watching him rest his head back. The look in his eyes, the excitement, the way it transformed his eyes. Seriously... mm.. he tilted his head. do you know.. how incredibly..... ... pretty you are..he asked, making a face at that word. He knew he totally bombed that comment, but he couldnt help it. Beautiful probably would have been even more lame. he just.. it was.. it just always hit him and even more so now.. the way peter was just so..

Ashton mentally shook his head. mmm..

His hands were moving now massagin the area they rested and ashton studied him. He smirked yet again and nodded. mm.. yes peter.. i am.. all of the above..he said. but only for you...he told him. he knew he failed a lot of the times showing how he truly felt or saying it. He just.. wasnt the best and acting or sounding any of the emotoins other then... anger.. hate, cold. or.. sarcasm. its all hes ever had all his life.. now he just... felt like.. he should do better ... show him better.. both of them. He felt like they could totally do better... he didnt want them to though he was seflish on that account. He wouldnt give them up... he wasnt sure he really could...

AShton returned this kiss leaning into him again pulling him up against him as much as he could. where are we going?he asked into the kiss but not wanting to break it.</sup>