HOTTER THAN HELL -- * || ASHTON

[KENNEDY ISOBEL TENLEY]

[/i] who she was. She wasn't anything like the little girl that moved to Chicago from Wichita four years ago. She was completely different and not just physically but emotionally as well. Kennedy had spent the last four years turning off her emotions and keeping people away from her. And here she was, finding it so easy to talk to some guy that she barely knew. Part of her felt good for getting it all out there, to have someone to talk to if she needed it. But the other part of her felt like pushing him away, going back to her old ways of not letting anyone in.

Shaking the thoughts away, she glanced down A small laugh escaped her and she moved to her closet. It was partially reflex, but she wasn't about to answer the door wearing her sweat pants and a graphic t-shirt. It was her usual attire when she was alone in her dorm. Her blue gaze peered in to her closet, chewing on her bottom lip, she tried to find something to change in to. She wanted something that didn'tlook like she was trying to hard.

Her gaze landed on a white slip-like pullover that she usually wore when going or coming from the showers. Smirking a little, she pulled it down and shed her other clothes. Slipping it on over her lean figure, she glanced in the mirror and ran her slender fingers through her dark waves. Turning away from the mirror, she shook her head. Kennedy was tired of looking at herself.

One of the reasons she was okay with Ashton coming over was because she hated being alone, as much as she pretended that she liked it that way--she really didn't. Her roommate was usually around, so she usually wasn't alone in the physical sense, but sometimes it was more then that to her. Another reason was, she didn't mind Ashton's company. A lot of people probably didn't like him because of his attitude, but there was just something about him that intrigued her.
[/size][/ul][/blockquote][/blockquote][/center]

TAG: ASHTON
WORDS:

[/color] FIVE - OH - SIX
MUSE:[/color] HOT MESS - Cobra Starship
CLOTHING:[/color] Bannerish attire
NOTES:[/color] Bleh...
CREDIT:[/color] TILLY of caution 2.0 || banner credits to * NOW SAY NEVER ![/font][/left][/size]

[ASHTON COLE JOHNSON-WALKER]

<sup>Ashton really wasn’t sure what he was doing. He rubbed his forehead. The persistent he had… well it hadn’t gone away. Then again this was nothing new for ashton. Headaches were a daily part of life for him, he wasn’t even sure what it was. He sighed leaning forward a bit in his chair. He had closed out his computer and then looked around. The room had been so quiet since peter left. Bogart was curled up on peters bed. The dog missed him. It was quite obvious. Ashton really had no idea what had happened to make peter just.. Leave like that. And then the night before he refused to tell him where he was and refused to talk to him really. Sure he replied to a couple of his texts but.. When he asked him to call he just said no. Last night had been a blur for the most part. After getting rejected three fucking times all by people that he really only… talked to without wanting to find where ever they are and shove his fist so far down their throat theyd have to use the force of god to pull it out. Okay maybe that was a bit drastic, but … sometimes he did feel that way. Sure he was easily annoyed, but… sometimes people didn’t have to be as annoying and stupid as they made themselves.

He moved over to bogart and ran his hand over his head. Ashton had been trying not to get attached to bogart, but it was hard really. Ashton really cared for animals. It was probably the only thing he even let his guard down for. Well for the most part. He had a bit of a problem, he tended to volunteer at shelters and what not and if he didn’t think the right people were getting interested in the animal or if whoever brought them into the boarding place didn’t seem like they should have the pet he would find a way to sneak the animal out. Ashton took care of them for as long as it needed to find someone he viewed as worthy enough that they might be a good pet owner. He literally would watch people and maybe even stalk and look up things that he needed to. Ashton was very resourceful, he knew how to get information most people couldn’t unless they were professionals of course. In the end though he made sure they would work and then he some how managed to work it so they would take the animal. He his own ways to do that.

Recently he had brought home a cat. She was a sweet thing, but scared as hell of bogart. He thought maybe kennedy would like it, it could give her someone to put her attention on and not be so… alone all the time. So bored all the time that she felt the need to seek companionship through random people in the form of sex. Granted she said she wasn’t doing that anymore… but maybe it would help her work though that. Of course kennedy didn’t like cats. But.. It gave him an idea. She had said she wanted a dog. The next one he needed a home for.. He would give to her. She didn’t have to know that was his intentions.. No one did. Ashton really shouldn’t be caring about kennedy it should be about his concern over the animal, but this time around … he was doing it for her more then the animal.

Honestly he didn’t know what had changed the past month or so. Things seemed to be changing left and right. Ashton was never good with change. He just didn’t do well with it and especially quick change. He was a slow kind of guy. Not mentally of course… but dealing with shit. Especially when it came to his own feelings and how things were affecting him. One thing was the whole peter situation. Ashton had barely gotten any sleep, the most had been last night but that was because hed been fucked up. Usually that was the only time ashton got enough sleep. It was something good about peter because peter rarely slept either. He was trying to help him with it and he thought maybe it would help him as well but as he tried to help peter, he also knew that things were moving much too fast and there were things that were developing that shouldn’t be and he was becoming aware that he needed to put his foot down before peter really started to get to the point that Ashton would just hurt the fuck out of him. This of course came in the conclusion hat he would be more distant. It helped that he had things he had to do, but at the same time when he was around peter he kept himself distant.. Maybe not physically but where he knew peter would notice. He was kind of regretting it now.. Even though he knew it was best.. And .. He really shouldn’t be regretting this. This was good. He couldn’t afford to have peter get attached, not when he had to live with him.

The sad part was… he kind of missed peter. HE hated his space taken up. Hated he had a roommate and he was sure if he got issued another he would run the guy out. But.. Peters bothering.. Was different. And now Ashton noticed the quiet. Noticed it too damn much.

The other thing was this thing with carson. Honestly he wasn’t sure what that was. Didn’t get what was going on. On one hand he somehow had ashtons attention while on the other hand… ashton wasn’t sure why? If it was just this need to crack him because he refused to answer shit when he asked and god ashton liked to know the people around him. Or .. If it was this physical thing they had going on. He didn’t know. He didn’t really know what was going to happen if peter found out. He didn’t know a lot. Then thirdly… Kennedy. At first he had just been doing his usual… lets third degree the person see if theres anything I can use against them. Then… he didn’t know. Something about her attitude. It didn’t bother him half as much and he found himself talking to her more and more and not being annoyed. Sure she did annoy him sometimes. There were choice times where he just wanted to tell her to shut the fuck up and fuck off, but he didn’t.

He also didn’t get the sexual part. He wasn’t sure if he was attracted to her or not. Sure she was very attractive but… he didn’t get the little back and forth they had. He, for one, didn’t do that kind of stuff… till now. And.. It was with a girl. Not that he was gay. He wasn’t, he has made out with girls before and wasn’t disgusted. Its just… it had a different enticeness to it with her. He shook his head. He honestly didn’t get it. He wasn’t sure if well… really. He didn’t do friends. He really didn’t. Didn’t do anything pertaining to any type of relationship and yet… they had some kind of… there was something. He just was it friendship? He didn’t fucking know. Why did he offer his place to her? HE never offered his place. He would never have brought anyone over if he was living alone and still if people do come its on account for peter but peter never has anyone over. So … what the hell? Why did he fucking care that her mother was out? Why did he care about protecting her? That’s what it was right? He felt like he wanted to help her… no that wasn’t the same thing. No he couldn’t think like that.. His mind was.. Just a jumble and he hated it. Hated having to think so damn much.

Ashton knew, from reading and learning in general, that it wasn’t good to bottle things up. To Ashton he wasn’t bottling it up. To him he just… didn’t feel the need to say. He had never needed to tell people. He had always had to rely on himself and he feels it shouldn’t change. He cant rely on people. No one can be trusted. Everyone had something behind their actions and their words and unless they proved it wrong he would believe that. Ashton was definitely hard headed and it would take a hell of a lot to get inside his head. He liked to know what was on other peoples minds. Liked to get details and hated it when kennedy would ask him about himself. It wasn’t important. It wasn’t needed to know. His life was in the past. He wasn’t dealing with anything like her and the twins.

Ashton moved away from the bed and made his way towards the girls dorms. He didn’t know why he was going over there. He asked himself a million times on the way over. This was insane. He didn’t care. Didn’t care. didn’t care. Finally he found her room. He gave it a knock and leaned against the door frame waiting for her to open up. He thought about just opening it himself, but… that would be too… close. He never just invited himself into peoples places. It wasn’t proper.


NOTES: sorry he went off on me. ill prettyfy in a bit XD</sup>

[KENNEDY ISOBEL TENLEY]

[/i] talks in the chats.

Her mind was racing with thoughts of... well, everything. Between hearing about her mother and the possibility that she was headed her way, freaked her the fuck out. Kennedy hated admitting this, but it scared her shitless. She could remember the last thing her mother said to her before she was dragged away. It literally made her skin crawl. Her family had been a very powerful one in Wichita and they had some strong connections. She wouldn't doubt that her mother would find someway to find out exactly where she was.

And then trying to figure her life out. She didn't want to be the person that she was anymore. Kennedy wanted to change. The want was always there, but it was buried under her hard exterior that hid the emptiness inside.

She hadn't lied to Ashton when she told him that she had stopped sleeping around, because she had. The only person she had slept with was Carson. She went to an occasional party, but she didn't leave with any complete strangers.

And the two of them didn't help her out much either. When it came to identify any kind of feelings, Kennedy was at a loss. Her relationship with Carson was always a literal distaste for one another, but lately it hadn't been that way. They had been amicable towards each other, he didn't treat her like he used to. It only seemed to confuse her.

Then with Ashton, she sighed at the thought, running a hand through her hair and gripping it tightly. She couldn't even think of the words to explain it; another one that only seemed to confuse her. He was so in to finding stuff out about everyone else, but he wouldn't give up anything about himself and it drove her crazy. But she felt like a moth to a flame. The more he disregarded it, the more she wanted to know. It intrigued her and perhaps that was what sparked the attraction she felt towards him.

He was physically appealing to her, even though he didn't find himself to be so. There was something about his look and his personality that just rolled together to make him in to something that she wanted. Fuck, why she did, she couldn't explain. That was one of the things that drove her crazy.

The knock at the door tore her from her thoughts. She sat up slowly, hoping to ward off any lightheaded-ness that might come with it. She hadn't slept in nearly two days, so it was easy for her to get lightheaded if she got up too quickly. Kennedy placed her bare feet on the floor and moved across the room to the door. Taking a deep breath, she gripped the handle and slowly pulled the door open.

She disregarded a greeting and held the door open enough for him to come in, "Make yourself comfortable." She retorted, closing the door behind him after he entered her room.
[/size][/ul][/blockquote][/blockquote]

[ASHTON COLE JOHNSON-WALKER]

<sup>Ashton rubbed his forehead again. He should have taken something. Oh well.. He’d deal. He didn’t think it would take too logn for her to open the door. She knew he was coming. When he heard the door handle he stepped back from the frame, his brows going upwards as she opened it finally revealing the outfit she was in. heh… I guess you did mean special… he stepped up to her his finger running along the strap on her left shoulder before dropping his hand back to his side and walking in the rest of the way, his eyes moving over the room. It wasn’t bad.

It was pretty clean, which ashton was thankful for. He didn’t like messy things. He didn’t like things out of order either. Out of their room Peters side looked the most lived in. Ashtons side was pretty much immaculate. He didn’t have any kind of personal items out other then his computer which sat on his desk. Everything was either in drawers or the closet. It literally looked like it was their show room. Everything was lined up with some centerline he had decided on. You probably felt like you messed it up just standing on his side without even touching anything. It was safe to assume he had some problems with OCD too. Her room he was glad to find didn’t have clutter around. The most she had out was her dvd and music and what not.

He glanced over to her as he moved over towards her music. hm.. You look hot.. he told her with a small shrug. mm… his eyes took in the cds she owned. He knew just from what she had mentioned on the chatroom that she had good taste in music but it was just confirmed further by seeing her collection first hand. He turned towards her again, hands moving to his pockets.

what are you thinking right now kennedy? he asked. Ashton absolutely refused to refer to her as kenny. For one, Ashton didn’t do nicknames. For two… it was a ridiculous name for a girl. He didn’t usually like stupid names like that for girls but he thought kenny was stupid in particular. She looked much more like a kennedy. Besides Kennedy was a unique name for a girl, at least he thought so. He didn’t know… any other Kennedy’s other then the obvious presidential ones but that was their last name and they were not females.

In fact her personality kind of matched her name. He tilted his head just slightly. You have bags.. he told her. Lke he was one to talk. hm.. he shook his head. you havent been telling me everything kennedy. he said. how come? And… so help me god if you say it doesn’t matter.. he shook his head. She had been saying that a lot lately on the chat when that hes noticed.

have you anything in mind that youd like to do? he asked her. He knew he was probably jumping, but he wasn’t sure if he wanted her to continue right now or not. He did want to know, but at the same time he didn’t know if he wanted to at this precise moment. He figured hed let her choose. If she didn’t tell him now, he would get her to tell him later. Either way she was going to tell him at some point or another…


NOTES: Sorry its a bit shitty</sup>

[KENNEDY ISOBEL TENLEY]

[/b][/color] She smirked at him a little before he turned his attention to her room.

She figured this would happen, which was one of the reasons she was hesitant to invite him over. He was the kind of person that liked to pick people apart. Kennedy was a very neat person, some people wouldn't think that by her exterior appearance at times, but she was. She had a freaky disorder, something else the shrinks liked to point out about her. Clutter was unnecessary in her eyes and the only thing that really showed her personality in the slightest was her DVD and CD collection, and her clothes but they were hidden by the closet door.

Her blue eyes watched him carefully as he moved over towards her music collection. She had an eclectic taste, she listened to just about anything. Most of her music, however, was classic rock. It was her favorite. Her brown arched slightly when he turned to look at her, complimenting her even.

"Thanks, you're looking good as usual yourself..."[/b] Kennedy moved to her bed and sat down on the edge, trying ot calm her nerves and settle her thoughts. He did look good, at least in her eyes and he could disagree with her all he wanted, but she liked what she saw.

He asked her what she was thinking about now and she couldn't grasp an actual answer. She was thinking about a lot of things, but at the current moment her thoughts were clouded with him. Being in such a close vicinity of him made her mind slip far in to places that it probably shouldn't. Her blue eyes looked up at him and she shook her head, "You." Was her simple answer. It didn't need elaboration, or at least she didn't think it did.

There he went with the intrigue, he went from telling her that she looked hot, to pointing out the bags that were under her eyes. She had tried her best to cover them up with make up, but when you hadn't slept in over forty-eight hours, it was a difficult task. Pulling her bottom lip between her teeth, she looked away slightly, her eyes drifting towards the one window in the room. "It never really came up in conversation I suppose..." Her gaze shifted down to her lap, where her hands sat in her bare lap. "I haven't slept in a couple of days." She told him. She knew there was no point in not telling him, he would get it out of her eventually. He just had something over her that made her bend, he could probably get her to tell him just about anything.

His next question made her shrug, "I don't know. You have any ideas on what you'd like to do?" She questioned, scooting back on her bed and resting against the pillows. Her smooth, bare legs crossed at the ankles, as she watched him move about her room.
[/blockquote][/blockquote][/ul][/size]

[ASHTON COLE JOHNSON-WALKER]

<sup>Ashton snorted a bit at her naked comment and hmm’d. Maybe.. he said. He was glad she wasn’t the type that had taken this order to be naked seriously. He wasn’t sure what he would have done. He thought maybe he might have left but again he probably would have taken it as another challenge. This one more to his nerves. He knew he wouldn’t have been comfortable in a position like that and he was sure she probably already knew that. Then again she did like to test him, which was annoying and not at the same time. He was the one used to doing all the testing. He liked to see how far he could push people, he rarely ever was pushed, but when he was it was refreshing really.

When she told him that he was looking good as usual, he just shrugged again and hmm’d. He turned his attention back to the rack. He wasn’t going to get into that conversation again. Hed already had that spiel with her about his looks and it would be petty and girly to get into it again at any given moment that the topic arose. She apparently found him attractive.. Well.. That was her opinion. He would be lying if he said it didn’t make him feel a little flattered. Who wouldn’t right? Ashton really did nit pick about his looks and as much as he liked to blow stuff off, he also dwelled on them and pointed them out at certain times. He honestly just did not understand how a person could perceive things so completely different from someone else. He had even narrowed down his flaws and she still batted them away like it was nothing. Then again she was always being nice to him… it was frustrating a bit. He didn’t care too much for niceness. Mostly when it was veered towards him.

Ashton was an argumentative kind of guy. He liked arguing and sure nice was good once and while. He was finding that some good conversations came from that, but when he didn’t argue about something he got restless. He didn’t like feeling that way. It was like… something was missing. Something he’d grown used to. Ever since he was sent here he had no constant opposing accusations coming at him at all times. He was literally just there. Just… existing. He didn’t have anyone. He grew up hearing about all the bads in the world all the bad that was him and how much he needed to change and pray in order to be saved. He then was thrown into a place that he you could practically grab the tension in your hands. The dislike of not being wanted in the house at all. Constantly being told he was the reason for everything that it was his fault and all that jazz. Now he had none of that. No negative.. No positive… nothing and even though he couldn’t explain it himself, he just sometimes… really needed that aggression taken out maybe more then just a few times. Lately that hadn’t been happening.

Ashton honestly did believe that his story was just like anyone elses and it was just another same old same old just different names and maybe slightly different events. He got bored of it.

Ashton waited for her answer. He wasn’t sure what he was expecting but the answer that she gave definitely wasn’t it. His brows arched up. hm… his head tilted just a pinch in curiosity. of all things… he moved over towards her stopping about a foot maybe two away. What about me? he asked. Ashton was all about details even if it should be right there in one answer. He liked elaboration necessary or not.

He watched her looked away her bottom lip going between her teeth. Ashtons lips flattened to a straightt line as he watched her, listened to her answer. He reached out his hand hesitant for a breif second, a small twitch before finally taking a hold of her chin lightly and turning her face towards him. It doesn’t make you look any less hot.. he told her. People arent perfect kennedy… Usually it’s the imperfections that make the person more interesting… and worth figuring out. he said then his lip turned up just a bit at the one corner in a smirk, his hand dropping back to his side. Is this because of your mom? he asked, Or other reasons? he raised his brows. reasons that might be heightened with the return of your mom.

Ashton watched her scoot back. He shrugged. I came to hang out.. he said. oddly I wanted company… and you said you felt… off. I told you maybe you should have some company so here I am. his arms came out at that last part and then fell back to his side. I don’t do casual hang outs…. Im not exactly sure what to do he said. He never in his life did a casual hang out. Anytime he hung out it was fore one reason or another. Partying to get fucked up, learn to play whatever instrument he was working on at the time, make out, whatever… he never on a split second just decided to hang out without any kind of reason behind it. He really did not have any inkling of a motive for this and … it was strange for him. He already felt weird and off. He always had his own motives about stuff it kept his mind on a target, a goal… now it wasn’t sure what to do. He wasn’t so sure he should have done this. He wouldn’t leave now… he was determined to work through it. Not a big deal…….</sup>

[KENNEDY ISOBEL TENLEY]

[/b][/color] She shrugged her shoulders a little. "I'm bound to have you on my mind." Licking her lips, she met his gaze, "Oh there were some thoughts about tying you up and getting you naked." Kennedy smiled a little bit, she was only teasing - or at least half-teasing.

His large hand grasped her chin and made her look at him. Her blue eyes stared up at him and she shook her head. She didn't know why but the news about her mother was making her more on edge than it probably should have, it was making her feel vulnerable and she hated that feeling. "... thanks." She really didn't know what else to say. Quite honestly, as of late she hadn't really found herself attractive either. Sure, she knew she was pretty in a sense, but she just wasn't feeling it. She wasn't feeling a lot of things lately and at the same time, she was feeling too much. It didn't make any sense, but it did to her.

"I guess its partially about that..." She ran a hand through her dark hair and pressed her lips together. "I, uh, I can't sleep without the help of sleeping aids..." She chewed on her bottom lip. "It's been that way for over four years..." Tilting her head slightly, she looked back down at the ground. "My... y'know... my shrink that I'm seeing now thinks I'm too dependent, so he took me off of my sleeping pills..."

She didn't know why the hell she was telling him all of this. But she figured he'd pry until she told him, so might as well get it all out there so he could save himself a few breaths for his future inquisitions.

When he spoke up about what he came to do, she arched a brow slightly. Nodding her head she curled her legs underneath her and gave her bed a pat, "Well, that makes two of us..." She gave a small smile and shook her head. "This is all kinda new to me, too." Clearing her throat she looked at the bed and then back at him. "You can sit down, I promise not to bite..." Her lips twitched upwards a little,"Unless you want me to of course..."

Lifting her shoulder slightly, she glanced around her room, "Well, we could uh, watch a movie... listen to music... I dunno..."[/b] She pointed to the wall that had all of her CDs and DVDs on display. Everything was in alphabetical order, it was a force of habit. She had more DVDs and CDs then she knew what to do with. Everything from action flicks, to romance flicks, to comedy and anything else you could possibly think of.
[/blockquote][/blockquote][/ul][/size]

[ASHTON COLE JOHNSON-WALKER]

<sup>Ashton grunted a that and shrugged. well i thought maybe it would have less of an obvious answer to that... he told her. Though I applaud you for identifying that... Im a guy and you're a girl... he was teasing her, though it was always hard to tell with him. His voice rarely gave much to identify his intentions. Sometimes... but usually that was tied into action and looks and... etc.

Ashton knew why he didnt find himself attractive but he didnt see how she couldnt. Unless it wasnt about physical beauty, but even then... kennedy wasnt ugly... on the inside. But... well clearly people found her attractive, he didnt see how she could have a complex about it. He wasnt sure if she had changed her thoughts on that since shed been using pictures in the chat room a few times, but from her reaction now, the look in her eyes. he wasnt so sure.. He gave a small shrug. Ashton got annoyed by constantly repeating himself. If he told a person something he thought.. then they had better take that. He was being honest for the most part. If they couldnt take that .. and they just wanted to believe that it wasnt true, then fine. Ashton was a bit of a hypocrite when it came to that because he was guilty of it too, but in his eyes it wasnt about what he did. It was about what others did. There was more there and he wanted to know. he wanted to ask her to tell him but... maybe he would a little later.

hm.. whats .. the other partially of it? he asked. Ashton rolled his eyes at the comment about her doctor. well clearly not being dependent on the is really helping... why else had he prescribed them... he hated doctors. hated.. hated.. hated them. They all just wanted money or to be able to tell people what to do, or.. to feel like god. Well.. they could fuck off. i have some you can have if you want... he shrugged.

Ashton looked at the bed then to her, shrugging some he moved to sit down, then propped himself against the headboard. His movements were naturally awkward. Only when he was drunk or angry.. or.. had certain intentions were his movements fluidly natural. He quirked a brow at her. heh.. i'll bet. his other brow went up. and what if i wanted you to bite me? he asked. Sometimes he couldnt help to make remarks that went along with the others. It was a natural challenging part of him. Every second every word it was like he just had to put that edge to it.

His eyes moved to the wall and he shrugged. um.. i dont care.. put something in.. he said. make some kind of ambiance at least so its not so quiet.. he rested his head back against the headboard. You know me... i dont have much experience with movies so just.. pick something out... itll work.</sup>

[KENNEDY ISOBEL TENLEY]

[/b][/color] It was a little bit of a play on what happened in the library the first time she actually met him in person. Her sarcasm was a little dry, but that was just the type of mood she was in at the moment.

Chewing on her bottom lip, she looked up at Ashton and sighed, "Every time I try to close my eyes and sleep, I end up reliving that first night over and over and over again."[/b] She hated talking about what happened, and she despised talking about the effects it had on her. Because of recent events it had her more emotional than usual. Pushing it away she took a deep breath and looked back down at her lap. "And its every single time... not just once and awhile..."

Moving her neck around, the vertebrate cracking slightly, she let her gaze move over him again. "He wasn't the doctor that prescribed it to me, it was the three before him..." She had gone through her share. Mostly because she either refused to talk to them, refused to tell them the truth, or she tried to come on to them. She smirked a little at the last one. She had ended up nearly sleeping with one of them before he came to his sense and quit. She didn't think there was a person qualified enough to give her advice on how to get better. At the time, she hadn't wanted to. She wanted to forget what happened, rather than confront it like they wanted her too.

Her brow arched when he told her that he had some and that she could have them. She opened her mouth to ask about it, but then closed it again. She knew every time she asked him a question he either ignored it, told her it didn't matter or changed the subject. Kennedy almost let it go, but then decided against it, "Why don't you use them?" She questioned, her voice was a little low.

Kennedy's gaze followed him as he sat down on the bed, propping himself against the headboard. A small grin toyed at her lips and she leaned over to him, knowing that Ashton didn't like people in his personal bubble. Her lips brushed against his ear, "Then all you have to do is ask." Kennedy couldn't help herself sometimes. She settled back in to her spot. Kennedy had thought the idea of Ashton on the same bed as her would be awkward, but she didn't' feel awkward at all. Though, she was sure she couldn't say the same for him.

Shrugging her shoulders she followed his gaze to the wall. She listened to him for a moment and snickered at his statement, you know me. It was like an oxymoron, because she really didn't know him - but at the same time she did. It was weird. Getting off of the bed slowly she crossed to her DVD collection and glanced through the selections. She had no idea what to pick that might slightly entertain him. Her blue orbs slowly moved over the alphabetical titles when something stood out to her. A small smile pulled at her lips, she quickly picked up the DVD case and set up the movie.

Moving back to her bed, the fabric of her cover-up slipped up her thighs slightly as she got on the bed. She turned her attention to Ashton, "I remember you said you liked Boondock Saints, figured you might be interested in watching the second one..." She raked her fingers through her dark hair, remote in hand for her DVD player. "You could make a damn good drinking game out of these movies..." She commented off-handedly. "The number of times they say 'fuck' could really get you wasted..."

Kennedy pulled her bottom lip between her teeth. She was rambling, she hated it when she started to ramble. Hitting the play button, she got comfortable on her bed, her index finger wove a few strands of her hair around it and she continued to twirl it. It was a quirk of hers, she felt like her hands always had to be doing something and on top of it she loved having her hair played with.
[/blockquote][/blockquote][/ul][/size]

[ASHTON COLE JOHNSON-WALKER]

<sup>Ashton snorted a bit at her comment, the library coming to mind. he had said that to her. mm.. well arent you just the smart cookie his comment conveying dry sarcasm. Ashton didnt mind sarcasm. it was his second if not his first language half the time. He actually didnt mind her sarcasm.. and might have possibly liked it too.

He gave one nod of his head slowly. hm.. he licked his lips. What was it about nightmares around here. Peter saw things that were going to happen it seemed. She saw what happened in her past... he saw... things that he didnt think were true, he wondered what carsons nightmares were like.

You're still that scared little girl kennedy he said. .. whats the biggest question in your head? he asked. Is it why? Is it a big fat why? he raised his brows. Why asks a lot of questions all at once without being detailed and yet it can also answer a lot of questions if answered the right way and you never got that answer did you? he asked. Never got to confront the demon.. didnt get to hurt it like it hurt you was never given the answer that would in some way let you have some kind of closure. he raised his brows. It will never go away completely but ... you can at least have some kind of peace with it, if only you were able to get it.

Ashton hmm'd a bit when she commented on the doctor. Ashton knew what it was like to have multiple doctors. After the thing with his... guardians. Ashton truly didnt believe they had been his parents anyway, they had him in and out of doctors. They wanted diagnosis. Something to explain what had happened so they could make a definite ruling. It didnt work though. ashton didnt cooperate and they couldnt get anything. Now though they made the deal he has to see a shrink weekly and if he doesnt they will put him in a correctional facility or whatever they feel like doing. Ashton had zoned them out when they were talking.

When Kennedy asked why he didnt use his own pills he looked at her and then raised his shoulders in a small shrug. Let me ask you something kennedy.. he said. Your dreams... they are what happened.. a nd they happen everytime you go to sleep. You've been through it, and you're pretty much reliving it. what if you had dreams that are so real, but yet its like every time you have them its the first time its happening and you can feel it happening... and it happens everytime you sleep.. he raised his brows. And what if those pills... they made you sleep.. which is the point, but sleeping is what you're trying to keep yourself from... when you take the pills there is no way of waking up. he hmm'd a bit. I just happen to enjoy that im an insomniac and would hate to waste any part of my day sleeping... apparely my view on that is weird to doctors and they insist i sleep. I dont want to. What if i miss something while Im a sleep. Ill sleep when im dead is what I told him.. he shrugged. so therefore.. you can have them. he told her. He really needed to watch what he was saying. Sometimes he didnt realize that when he was trying to make points he let things out. Then he had to work it over which sometimes he was sure didnt work, but maybe.. some people were gullible.

Ashton stiffened as she leaned over, her lips brushing his ear. His nose flared a bit and his fingers balled tightly into a fist. He should have expected that, but he didnt. He really needed to keep on his tose, expect anything especially around kennedy.. He quirked a brow up and turned his head to look at her once she had moved away. mm.. im sure.. he replied sarcastically. I dont like gentle bites. he told her. how hard do you bite kennedy? he asked.

Ashton turned hsi gaze from hers to look around her room again. how often is your roommate around? he asked his eyes following her just a bit as she got up to go to the dvd's. He dropped his gaze to his lap again, reaching into his pocket he pulled his phone out. He hated the damn thing, but as much as he wanted to destroy it, he couldnt. He usually always had it on silent. There were five text messages from derek and two from jeremy the other guy in his band.. it was derek though probably thinking he was ignoring his texts so using someone elses phone would trick him into answering. Ashton rolled his eyes a bit. There were no messages from peter. He sighed and put it back into his pocket not reading the others.

when she came back she started on about how she rememebred him saying something about the boondock saints. His brows went up a few notches yet again. SHe remembered? how the hell.. why? He didnt get it. His lips moved to a straight line and the corners turned down just a bit. hm.. he then looked at the screen catching the last bit of what she said and smirked instead. heh.. im sure.. he told her.

Ashton got a kick out of the accent and the brothers on boondock saints. He actually had half laughed when he saw the first one at a few points in the movie. one of them being when they were getting their tackle from the room. That whole scene just.. well he didnt know why but he did like that movie. he hoped to hell he wasnt going to be disappointed by the second. He just didnt want this movie to ruin something so awesome.

Ashton looked over at her then. He leaned his head back not really sure he wanted to chance this movie. He turned his head to look at her. He didnt say anything. He wanted to see how long it would take to unnerve her.. or... something. get some reaction..</sup>

[KENNEDY ISOBEL TENLEY]

[/b][/color] She looked back down at her lap. She felt like a scared little girl more than half of the time. She hated that feeling. She didn’t want to be that little girl that cowered away from everything. That was most of the reason that she felt like she had to take care of things on her own, she had to grow as a person. She couldn’t be that scared little girl anymore. “I’ll never get the answer, so I’ll never be able to face the demon…” She murmured. It was more of a statement than anything else. Rolling her shoulders, she felt that uncomfortable weight there that she hated. Kennedy knew it was something that she would have to try and overcome on her own, but she didn’t think she could. She didn’t believe that she was strong enough to do it.

Leaning her head back slightly, she let her blue eyes roam over his face as he spoke up. There was something more behind what he was saying, but she wasn’t going to pry. She just listened to him talk, nodding her head slightly, confirming what he asked. Her teeth pulled on her bottom lip, a nervous habit of hers. She could understand exactly what he was saying and gave a small smile, “Well… thank you.” She replied when he offered them to her. “And I oddly understand what you mean, I don’t like the idea of missing out on anything either…” She laughed softly at the thought.

Perhaps it had more to do with her paranoia than anything. She hated the idea of falling asleep and waking up to find one of them there, with her. It scared the hell out of her. She didn’t like to admit it, but it did. Hell, a lot scared her, but she wouldn’t ever admit to it. Not out loud.

Her brow arched slightly at the sarcasm in his tone. Rolling her eyes playfully she tilted her head up a little bit, before letting it lull back to place. A smirk graced her lips when he asked her just how hard she bit. “Hard enough.” She let her legs stretch out in front of her. She wasn’t tall, so her legs weren’t one of her strong suits, but they had a nice definition to them.

“My roommate?” She pressed her lips together and glanced over at her roommate’s side of the room. “Not often. I’m usually alone up here, she comes to sleep and shower and the essentials, but she’s usually in and out. Early riser and all that jazz…” Kennedy shrugged her shoulders as she answered. She didn’t mind. Rosalie was a nice enough girl, but she and Kennedy didn’t really have much in common. They were nice to each other, since, after all they had to live together for the next year.

Once the movie started Kennedy continued to twirl a piece of her hair around her finger. She didn’t know what to expect from this visit of sorts from Ashton, and so far things hadn’t gone terribly bad, which was a nice bonus. She didn’t move from her position, though she could feel his eyes on her. It wasn’t really unnerving to her, she always felt like people were staring at her and sometimes they were. She let it go on for a little bit longer before she decided to speak up, “Am I that good looking that you just can’t stop looking at me?”[/b] She asked a small grin tugging at her lips. She was being sarcastic of course, but it seemed to be the theme so far tonight, why stop now? She turned her blue eyes on him and lifted a brow in question. “Not that I’m complaining… you can look all you want…” Her lips twitched a little. “But if you wanna touch it’ll cost extra.”

Snickering at herself, she glanced at the tv and then back at Ashton. She turned her body slightly so she was more facing him, “So… what’s up with you? Why the sudden urge to have company?”[/b]
[/blockquote][/blockquote][/ul][/size]

[ASHTON COLE JOHNSON-WALKER]

<sup>hmm.. he looked over at her. maybe you just need to let off on him. Go visit him in jail.. he suggested. tell him exactly what you think of him. Tell him everything you want to say. he said. after all hes the on in jail. Hes probably been made into someones bitch by now. You know half the prisoners dont like child molesters. he said. a lot of them have children of their own and believe it or not child molesters get it pretty damn bad in prison. he licked his lips, feeling their smoothness. he had recently run out of chap stick. Hed have to buy some soon before it started to show.

He reached into his pocket and pulled out the small prescription bottle. He normally didnt carry them around but lately he had been. He didnt know why, Sometimes he debated on taking one. Sometimes he was just so damn tired it was a desperation use until he did take it and woke up later realizing just how bad of a mistake that was. He didnt like not being able to wake up. He reached out taking her hand and opening it as he opened the bottle and poured a few into her hand. just try it for now, if you dont like them let me know, if you do I'll give you more he told her closing her hand over them and then capping the bottle and putting it back in his pocket.

Kennedy, do you ever wonder if some of your memories are real or not. he asked as he was putting the bottle in his pocket and then glanced over at her. I mean.. do you ever wonder if those are really yours or if they're memories you've some how made yourself believe were really yours. Say its because of the media all the things youve seen or all the books youve read or all the movies youve watched. If they just are so a part of you that you start to meld them into your memories and what might be a memory for a character youve turned into your own? he asked. or.. say you dont realize this but your are the type of person that makes their life something that its not because of some condition, i dont remember what its called, but sometimes kids tend to believe certain things about themselves or their lives that really isnt there, but to them it is. Like they need to have that excitement or drama in their lives. Do you ever wonder if that was you? Im not saying all of them but some? he was genuinely asking.

Ashton smirked a bit. If he were a leg person he would probably admit she had a really great pair of legs. Honestly he thought the shorter girls had better legs just because they had more figure to them. THey were just straight up and down, a lot of them had an actual calf and actual thighs and he liked that. He nodded and hmm'd I see.. he said. Well isnt that lucky for you? Dont have to share your space. he said. Ashton very much would prefer not to have a roommate.. at least that what he used to prefer, now he doesnt mind as long as that roommate is peter. Hed kind of grown on him as far as roommates went. Of course... apparently Peter didnt want to be his roommate anymore. He sighed inwardly and looked down at his hands in his lap. He brought his arms up crossing them over his chest loosely aas he leaned back more.

Ashton smirked. mm.. he said. maybe... he said. the black hair distracts me.. he smirked and then quirked his brow up. oh? and what will it cost? he asked. I should know just in case I want to pay it. he quirked his brow, ignoring her question. He turned towards her some, his elbow resting against the headboard, propping his head up with his hand. He rested his other hand on the bed in front of him.</sup>

[KENNEDY ISOBEL TENLEY]

[/i] the idea scared the hell out of her. She didn’t think she could ever face that man; it was probably one of her greatest fears. Though she couldn’t deny the laugh that escaped her when he made a comment about him becoming someone’s bitch. She physically cringed, however, when he said the words child molester. It was like those two words alone could bring back every horrible memory that she tried desperately to suppress.

Kennedy’s blue eyes watched as he took a bottle out of his pocket. She recognized the familiar orange hue of the prescription bottle and bit down on her bottom lip. Her dark hair fell over her shoulder as Ashton took her hand and opened it. Her gaze followed him, not daring to say anything as he opened the pill bottle and poured some of the contents in to her palm. Her gaze flickered up to meet his as he spoke and she swallowed nodding her head slightly. “Alright, thanks Ashton…” She gave him a small smile as he closed her hand around the prescription drugs. Licking her lips slowly, she leaned over to her night table and opened the top drawer. She found her empty orange bottle sitting next to her full orange pill bottle and sighed, unscrewing the top and letting dropping the handful of pills inside.

The full pill bottle was her anxiety medicine. She hated taking medicine, even if she was sick. There was just something unnatural about it all. The only reason she actually took the sleeping pills on occasion, was because after awhile she had a migraine from hell from not sleeping. She hated headaches and she despised migraines even more. She would do just about anything to keep from having them. She only took her anxiety medicine when she felt it was necessary. And it wasn’t very often, because she didn’t really think she had a problem, but her shrinks thought differently. Much differently.

Kennedy’s ears perked up a little when Ashton started to speak again. His words confused her a little a first, but then he continued to speak and she understood. She understood all too well what he was saying. She had tried so desperately to suppress her memories that sometimes they felt fake. That what happened to her didn’t happen to her, but maybe to someone else. Sometimes she thought she made all of the shit up in her head and she would think that her parents couldn’t possibly have done this to her. Then she’d remember something, and she would see the scar that it left and she would know that it was real. Everything that happened, everything she remembered was real.

“Sometimes,” Her voice was low. “And sometimes I want to believe it when I think that it’s all made up. That it never happened like I remembered it.” She pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her thin arms around them. “I’ve thought that maybe I’m just one of those girls… you know the attention seekers that make up these awful stories about their life that aren’t true, just to get attention whether its good or bad.” Kennedy shook her head slightly, “And sometimes I’ll really start to believe it… I can be pretty convincing to myself… and I’ll just think that I’m just really fucked up for making myself believe that this stuff really happened….” Pulling her bottom lip between her teeth she swallowed a little and shrugged. “You know… Papa Roach said it best… the scars remind us that the past was real…” She laughed a little dryly at herself and glanced at her lap before looking back up at Ashton.

Kennedy grinned and bit down on her bottom lip, “Not really…” She mused. “I’ll let you in on a little secret…” She lowered her voice a little, as if someone was going to hear them talking. “I hate being alone.” She shrugged her shoulders a little and sat back, leaning her head against the headboard some more. ”I tend to think too much when I’m alone. And thinking makes my brain hurt, and then I get annoyed… and then I start to overanalyze everything.”

Smirking a little more she ran a hand through her dark, thick hair, “It tends to have that affect on people…” Her lips pursed slightly when he asked her how much it’ll cost him. Her brows arched playfully and she turned on her side, mimicking him a little bit, but her elbow was propped up on a pillow instead. “Mmmm… it’s pretty pricey… I don’t think you’d be able to afford it.” She mused out loud, her eyes rolling slightly a grin playing at her lips.

Kennedy didn’t miss the fact that he blatantly ignored her question. She bit down on her bottom lip and let her free hand reach out to his, she let her fingers dance over his pale skin and she met his gaze, “Don’t brush off my question Ashton…” She tilted her head slightly in her palm. Her fingers lazily moving over his hand.
[/blockquote][/blockquote][/ul][/size]

[ASHTON COLE JOHNSON-WALKER]

<sup>Ashton watched her, his head tilted some. his lips pressed to a straight line the corners turning down just a bit and he looked away from her. It wasnt easy facing the past and for someone that had the past that she had he knew that it was even worse. He thought maybe giving some options would help but it didnt. Instead he could see the look on her face. He would not mention it anymore. He wanted to help not cause more pain but it seemed inevitable. He always seemed to do that no matter what, he really didnt know why he even bothered.

Ashton nodded, hmm'ing a bit as she thanked him. MIght as well let it come to some use since he wasnt taking them. Ashton hated pills. He figured it was just another reason for doctors to get money out of you. Seriously.. he didnt think anything was really wrong with him, but for some reason his doctor wanted to put him on a fuck ton of stuff. Ashton had refused for the longest time but then they said if he tried it they would stop making him go see them. That was a bold faced lie and he saw right through it. He didnt take the pills, he would take the prescription and get it filled in case they checked up on it, but he didnt use them. Well once and a great while when he was curious but most pills take time to get into your system and he wasnt going to do that. They could just go fuck off. And of course even pretending they never made him stop, in fact they thought he needed more so he just stopped pretending. Who are they to try and diagnose him with shit. they knew nothing...

Ashton watched her, listening as she answered his question. Maybe he was like her. Sure he didnt voice anything so really how can that be attention seeking. Kennedy didnt voice stuff either for the most part so that didnt make sense for her either unless maybe she used to. He didnt know. Either way he knew he never voiced his shit so why would he make all that up. It didnt make sense. Maybe he just needed to make himself believe he had such a ... past so that way he would have an excuse as to why certain things happened. Maybe he couldnt face the truth... so he made himself the ... no he couldnt have done that. Not if he doesnt want to believe his dreams and thats the only place he sees it... well no sometimes.. sometimes he sees things at certain times. Ashton mentally shook his head, running a hand up through his hair. He needed to drop this conversation.

His brows rose as she lowered her voice to tell him a 'secret'. He smirked some and shrugged. I see.. he looked down at his hands. mm.. well.. i dont know.. he looked over at her. Ashton liked being alone, but at the same time he hated it. The thing was ashton wouldnt allow himself to not be alone. He told himself it was better to be alone. It didnt matter anyway... even when he was with people he was alone too. Those times he was at the clubs with his bandmates... just because he was surrounded didnt mean he actually felt like he was. He didnt like the contact and he didnt like being closed in, but other then the physical aspect no one was there for him. There wasnt any specific person he could just grab and talk to or be with.

Now... well he didnt know much anymore. Now he was trying to push away the people that wanted to be around him because he knew it was better to be alone. You didnt hurt or get hurt when you were alone. Certain dangers werent available, but it was hard to get that through to certain people because they refused to listen to it and ashton wasnt about to lay down the bare facts to get them to see. not only would it leave him open and everything about him out, but ... maybe it would actually push them away. He knows it doesnt make sense but hell he cant understand it himself. Ashton did understanding the over thinking and over analyzing but to him hed rather deal with that then the other possibilities.

His brows rose and he snorted some. mm.. dont think i can handle it or something? he asked his head tilting some. come on kennedy.. lay it out. give me your best shot. he smirked.

Ashtons brows drew together as he felt her fingers on his hand and his eyes dropped down to it, following the her hand as it moved over his. hmm... he said moving his hand from her touch. He curled his fingers in resting it up against his body, his eyes moving back up to hers. What are you thinking right now? he asked her.</sup>

[KENNEDY ISOBEL TENLEY]

<sup>This was new to her, being able to open up to someone, especially someone like him. She had never thought that she’d tell anyone about her past and he got it out of her without even trying. Kennedy never thought that she’d talk about how she felt, all of her many problems, but for some reason she felt comfortable enough to tell Ashton – of all people. She rolled her eyes at herself. She didn’t know why but there was something about him that made her want to be around him. Not necessarily in the sense that she wanted to date him, or anything, but just be in his presence, whether it was hanging out like now or in the chat, or through text message or whatever. She felt this weird pull towards him, like maybe, possibly, they could help each other out somehow.

She already felt like he was helping her in a way and maybe she owed him for getting her to open up. Five different shrinks in the last several years couldn’t get her to open up about what happened. Couldn’t get the emotions in her stirred up like Ashton had. Kennedy had been trying to suppress them for so long, that she had tried her hardest to forget all about them. She didn’t want to feel anything anymore, or at least that’s what she told herself four years ago when she came to Chicago to live with Josh and Liz. She remembered getting off of the plan and telling herself that she wasn’t going to like these people, that they weren’t going to care about her – no one was. And she had literally brainwashed herself in to believing that. And her life had been as it was; mindless screws, careless acts of drunkness and drug induced lonely nights.

She moved her gaze over to him and shook her head at him when he hmm’d. Kennedy raised a brow slightly when he didn’t respond to what she had said and just shrugged her shoulders. She figured that was his way of getting off the conversation; it was obviously something he didn’t want to dwell on anymore and who was she to push the topic? He dropped the conversation about her parents, and for that she was pretty damn grateful for. She didn’t like talking about them, hell she didn’t like thinking about them. Kennedy preferred distractions, and perhaps that was one of the main reasons she didn’t like being alone.

She let a small smirk pass over her lips and shook her head, “No I don’t think you could handle it.” She glanced down at her nails playfully rubbing them against the material of her cover up. “Like I said, it’s pretty steep…”</sup>

[/b] She grinned and arched a brow when he told her to give him her best shot. “Alright, well…”[/b] She pursed her lips. “Since you asked so nicely…”[/b] She laughed softly at the thought of Ashton asking nicely for something. “You’d have to tell me one thing about you that no one else knows…”[/b] And they both knew that wasn’t going to happen. Then again he could tell her something and it could be a complete lie and how would she know? She shrugged at the thought, she supposed it really didn’t matter. It wasn’t like she was expecting him to open up to her or something.

When he pulled his hand away, she rolled her eyes and moved to lay on her back, staring up at the ceiling. Her lips pursed slightly when he asked her what she was thinking about right now. ”Too much, not enough…” She shrugged her shoulders. She placed her hands on her stomach and sighed, “You’re still avoiding my question, Ashton.” She pointed out, she looked up at him and shook her head. She shrugged her shoulders, she would just drop it. There was no point in badgering him, because it never worked, no matter how much she did it. He would still tell her the same thing and/or nothing at all. “What are you thinking about right now?”
[/blockquote][/sup][/font]